Friends, I first want to apologize for my inconsistency in blogs! Due to technical difficulties with the Internet and a very busy week, I was a little off my game. Fret not my dears...this gal is prepared to blog till the cows come home (which could take a while if they're on Haitian time!).
All joking aside, I wanted to take this opportunity to write of something a little more transparent this time. Last week, I hit a spiritual and physical wall. Satan first began to discourage me when I awoke to a nasty case of pink eye. I'll spare you the details, but I did have to wear my glasses all week, as opposed to my contacts. Blessed as I was to even have a second option, I became easily frustrated with my super-glued, half-prescription glasses that were long overdue for an update. About 2 days into my pity party, I came down with a cold, which led to frequent bloody noses. It was about this time that God showed me just how fleeting my joy can be when rooted in circumstances, rather than His Truth. I found myself losing patience with my kids, fighting tears, and spending more time away from the community of believers He's blessed me with.
The good news is, once we welcome Christ into our lives, He promises to NEVER leaves us to face our struggles alone. :) Last Wednesday night, the missionaries and Haitian staff here met for our first, weekly bible study, and God began to reframe my perspective; With Christ as warrior, you win...every time. He helped me to see that, alone as I had tried to be at times, the truth was...we were all struggling with something last week. We were placed together for the very purpose of encouraging one another and turning eachother to the peace of The Lord. The week ended with nothing less than that very unified love to push us through to this week!
I know this has been long-winded, but if you've made it this far, I urge you to listen to me brag on my Lord just once more (for tonight!). For over 8 years, insufficiency and worthlessness have been fiercly biting at my heels, causing me to trip often and walk weakly. My senior year of college I privately sought Christian counseling, which God indeed used for growth. However, self-doubt remained my heavy chain, keeping me from flying. Yet, I serve a God who loves me enough to let me experience growing pains, for they always lead to growth.
This morning, the greatness of just how much God has done in the past 2 weeks overwhelmed me in a beautiful way! When I was checking Wilencia's blood sugar, I realized (perhaps for the first time) that I really can do ALL things though Christ who gives me strength! A month ago, I would have told you I could never give a child a shot, I could never teach English (to kids or adults), I could never cook meals without a recipe, I could never be in charge of staff, and I would never handle conflict well. In just two short weeks, I've done all of these on a daily basis....but only with God's sufficiency, not mine! That's what I've been missing all these years, and it took Haiti to finally see Christ's strength and ability tangible within me! What I didn't know was that I've had all His "enoughness" all along....but what I'll forever know is that I am capable of doing whatever He may call me to do, no matter what that may be!
The beauty is, if you also have Christ in you, then you too have free access to his power, humility, patience, endurance, and ability! Never sell yourself short when the Living Redeemer resides in you...just act in obedience to whatever He asks of you, and I know you too will find yourself amazed at just how much more you can do!
Your prayers are never unanswered!
* New Vision is experiencing many changes in staff, ministry approaches, and budgeting. Would you remember their wisdom, discernment, and patience through these times?
* The children were accepted for school and will start next Monday! Please pray for loving teachers who know the Lord so our children will see positive examples outside these gates.
